


Filled

by BenTylerShook



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I didn't edit this either, I seriously thought i had posted this, M/M, Mainly angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Slight fluff, i wrote this at midnight, so don't expect it to be good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 08:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenTylerShook/pseuds/BenTylerShook
Summary: A Boyf Riends projection oneshot i wrote a while ago and thought i posted but never did.Rated Mature for language





	Filled

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all i stg i thought i posted this but um i didnt whoops. i didnt really edit this, i only went through and formatted it so it may suck idk. EnJoY

Jeremy stared at the wall, lost in thought. _Why?_ He found himself circling back to. This was a common occurrence for Jeremy. He would lay in bed late into the night, late into the early morning, with a feeling he couldn’t quite place. Empty, almost. Longing didn’t seem to quite fit. Maybe it was desire. He had been debating whether or not he had a crush on his best friend, Michael, for the past few weeks. He couldn’t tell. God he loved him, of course he did. He couldn’t think of a life without him. But he was so shit at determining his feelings that he wasn’t sure what it really felt like to have a crush on someone. Sure, he dated Brooke and Christine. But he had absolutely no real romantic attraction towards Brooke. Christine one the other hand- he loved Christine, don’t get him wrong, but dating her almost felt wrong. He didn’t know what it felt like to really like someone in that way, but he’s pretty positive he feels that way about Michael. As he’s staring at the wall, he’s desperately trying to answer all the questions flying around his head. He wants more, he needs more. More what? He has an amazing friend group. He has an amazing dad. He technically has all he could want. So why does he feel this way. He starts to feel selfish. Like a horrible person for still wanting more in life. He _wants_ to cry. He _wants_ to just break down in the middle of the night. But he physically can’t. He feels the urge to cry, the metaphorical tears building in his chest, but he can’t just let it out. He decides to try to text his next closest friend after Michael, Brooke. Fortunately, the two have gotten really close since.., the incident. (When Jeremy finally went back to school, he was nervous. At lunch, he went to his usually table, only to be called over to the ‘popular kids table’. They were kinda knocked off their throne after the tic tac ordeal, the social hierarchy pretty much falling apart. They all apologized for the hell they put us through, Jeremy apologizing as well. He decided he needed to apologize to Brooke in private, so he asked Brooke to come to the hall with him. He apologized and Brooke accepted it. He found that he really did like Brooke as a person, and they slowly started to spend more and more time together, forming a sibling like bond.) Brooke was someone he could trust, someone he knew he could always, without fail, confide in, someone who knew exactly what he was going through. As he texts Brooke, he finally breaks down. He’s able to just let it out. He soon finds himself struggling for breath. He so desperately wants to call Michael, but he can’t. Michael would ask why he’s like this and Jeremy would be forced to tell Michael everything and that was by far the scariest thing he could imagine right now. Jeremy cannot lose Michael. He came way too close to it last year. You’d think that after crying for a good hour, he’d feel better. Oh nellie you couldn’t be more wrong. The empty feeling only grows. His need for _something_ only grows. He still can’t place what this damn _thing_ he needs is. Maybe it’s Michael, maybe it’s not. He wouldn’t know. 

**Heeremy: i don’t know what to do anymore**  
**i don’t know**  
**i just don’t ducking know**  
**and it sucks**  
**so much**

**BrookieBear: jere calm down.**

**Heeremy: i’m sorry**

**BrookieBear: don’t be sorry for your feelings**  
**never be sorry for your feelings**

**Heeremy: i just don’t know what to do.**  
**at this point, i’m pretty positive that i like him**  
**but i can’t tell him and it sucks**

**BrookieBear: whats the worst that could happen.**

You see, Jeremy has, in fact, thought about this. The worst that could happen- Michael freaks out and leaves Jeremy alone to die. Leaves Jeremy without a Player 1, without a shoulder to cry on, without a emotional support human, without a second half. He wasn’t willing to risk that. Not now, not ever. 

**Heeremy: oh idk he freaks out and ends our 13 year friendship like **that****

****BrookieBear: you and i both know Michael isn’t like that Jere** **

**She has a point. Michael isn’t like that, right?**

****BrookieBear: and if he does do that- than he isn’t the one for you and we all- the entire squad- misjudged him** **

Jeremy knew she was right. He knew that the chances of him losing michael were slim to none but they were there. But he was getting so tired of the endless nights filled with tears and desperation for this something that he was almost tempted to risk it. 

****Heeremy: god i rlly need to just tell him don’t i :/** **

****BrookieBear: yea. you really do. plz. if not for you for me. and the rest of the **squad. we want you happy jeremy.**** **

******Heeremy: thanks brooke. here goes nothing ig.**  
**don’t you dare brooke i stg.** ** **

He immediately leaves the chat with Brooke and sets his phone down on his bed, burying his wet face in his hands. At some point he had stopped crying, a few tears escaping every now and then. He contemplates his next decision. If he goes through with this, it could end it all. _But it could do the exact opposite too…_ “oh fuck it” He grabs his phone, immediately going to Michael’s contact. 

******Player 2: plz come over Micah** ** **

He only has to wait a few minutes before receiving a response. 

******Player 1: omw** ** **

Knowing Michael, Jeremy only has a few more minutes before Michael is here, and since he has a key, Jeremy doesn’t need to leave his room. Jeremy stares at the wall some more as he waits for Michael to arrive. A few minutes later, he is startled back to reality when Michael bursts through the door. 

“Oh my god, Jere are you ok?!” Michael whisper yells, careful not to wake Mr. Heere. Jeremy hadn’t ever realized that he had started crying again whilst waiting for Michael. 

“Not really no,” he croaks. Michael rushes to Jeremy’s bed, scooping him up into a hug, running his fingers through Jere’s hair. 

“Micah, i need to tell you something.” _All or nothing. No going back._

“What is it Jere?” The worry evident in Michaels tone. “Promise you won’t like, freak out or something?” 

“Of course i won’t Jere.” 

“Ok” _You can do this. All or nothing. You only live once. Now’s the chance._ “i think- no i know- i like you, Michael. Like a lot.” 

“Well yea, i like you too bro, we’re best friends.” Michael chuckles, not exactly getting the point. 

“No, like i like-like you, Michael” Jeremy attempts to clarify, Michael still not exactly getting it. 

“What do you me-“ 

“MICHAEL I LIKE LIKE YOU AS IN I WANT TO HOLD YOU’RE HAND AND WEAR YOUR HOODIES AND FALL ASLEEP ON YOUR SHOULDER AND SHIT” Michael sits in shock. Jeremy starts to freak out, thinking he crossed a line. 

“Ohmygodimsorryishouldnthaveventoldyouimsuchanidiotjesu-“ His rambling is cut off by the feeling of lips on his. Realizing what’s happening, he quickly melts into the touch. After a few seconds, Michael pulls away, placing his forehead on Jeremy’s. 

“You have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear you say that…” Michael whispers. 

“Guess the waits over then” Jeremy responds, kissing Michael again. Michael pulls away, once again, this time to say something. 

“Jere- will you be my boyfriend?” He asks, shyly. 

“God yes.” 

And just like that, the empty feeling was filled.

**Author's Note:**

> YaY iTs OvEr 
> 
> im feeling a lot more inspired lately and i really want to get writing again so please, if you have any requests lemme know!! 
> 
> i currently have a Newsies Rent AU in the works, and a Sprace oneshot that could possibly become a series in my head. I dont have much in the bcc department brewing so please send in any suggestions. 
> 
> All that said, comments and kudos are what really determine how much i write. it really keeps me going to know when people like my writing. 
> 
> xo


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